Penguin Soup
I sprained my ankle on monday in a spectacular step aerobics accident, but my million-year-old doctor told me I should be OK to play the big gig at Luna Lounge with Royal Pink tomorrow if I rest it up until then. So I’ve been, you know, resting. As much as I’m capable of rest anyway. The cool thing is, the more I’ve rested, the more my usual onslaught of nightmares has seemed to mellow into just general vivid weirdness. Here’s an indicative little gem of a dream from this morning:
I was a teenager with lots or red hair wound around my head in elaborate braids like Princess Leia or somethng, and I was attending a sleepover camp with tons of other teenage girls. The camp was pretty unstructured, so the girls my age and I spent lots of time hanging out at a candy store run by Vinnie the Tampon Case guy who works on my floor in real life. In my dream, the candy store was incredible - super-colorful and stocked with thousands of different treats that Vinnie had made and designed wrappers for himself. Plus the Hell’s Angels were there too, who I guessed were Vinnie’s friends. We didn’t really eat the candy. Everyone, which included me, the teenage girls, the bikers and Vinnie, mostly just stood around shooting the shit, until Vinnie dissappeared into the back of the store and came back with a big “bologna lasagna” for us to all eat in his formal dining room. It was gross-looking but also funny with lots of red tomato sauce and gooey cheese layered with tons of garish, pink bologna. The bikers ate it, but the teen girls were skeptical. Then Vinnie announced that he was about to launch his own cooking show, and that as his first recipe, he was going to make “Penguin Soup.” I was like, “What’s that?” And he went into the kitchen and came back with a big giant Vitamix blender with a big, live penguin inside.
He said “All you have to do is add some heavy cream to the penguin and blend!” The girls started freaking out and some of the bikers were like “No way man!” Vinnie dumped the cream over the penguin’s head and it ruffled it’s feathers. The girls screamed. The Hell’s Angels laughed. I started chanting “Penguin soup! Penguin soup!” over and over again, encouraging Vinnie to push the button. And that’s when I woke up, still chanting “Penguin soup!”
Maybe I’m not cut out to be a vegan after all…