emilyrems.com

When I went to face off against Jennigirl in another bout of Wii boxing this weekend, she had all these crazy hickey-looking marks all over her because she’d just been to the accu-PUNK-turist and her doc had tried something on her called cupping. Apparently it’s an ancient Chinese method of helping energy flow through the body where a partial vacuum is created in cups placed on the skin through heat suction. The results look positively medieval and LCF was teasing her asking if next week she was planning on getting leeched, but I just told her she looked like a movie star because the last time I saw marks like that, Gwenyth Paltrow was sporting them at the Oscars…

At long last Stace with the bass is back from Australia, which means for those about to rock, Royal Pink salutes you! We’ll be making our triumphant return after our summer hiatus THIS FRIDAY at the only genuine punk venue left in all of pitifully gentrified manhattan - Don Hills! Feast on the deets and remember to bring plenty of extra panties to throw at us:

August, 24 2007
8 PM (For real not for fake! We’re the opening band!)
Royal Pink @Don Hill’s
511 Greenwich St. at Spring St., NYC
Cost : Not Much!

YOU be the judge! Leave it to Japan to come up with the most post-modern shit ever. Seriously, just try to out meta-this. I DARE YOU!!! Big ups to my gay bf for sending me this link. About ten years ago, I rescued a homeless white cat in Boston who now resides with the parentals. Would it be wrong to sneak into their house one night, dress her in this outfit, and then run away?

Today in my horoscope, Rob Brezsny said:
“Many of you Aries have been so deeply immersed in mutation lately that you don’t realize how much you’ve mutated. You assume everyone around you is different only because you don’t know how different you’ve become.”

Whatevs. I still think it’s all y’all who are diffo. On a side note, this morning I dreamt that a salesgirl at Sephora charged me $70 for a lipgloss, and when I protested she said she couldn’t refund my money. I asked to speak to her manager, and he was a very dismissive dude who mocked me rather than helping me, so I shoved him to the ground, planted my foot on his throat, called Sephora corporate headquarters on my cell, and informed them that I was holding one of their managers hostage and would kill him if they didn’t instruct the salesgirl to refund my money. Whadaya say Dr. Freud? Is a lipgloss sometimes just a lipgloss? Whatever it symbolized, for $70 it better be poppin’.

Big ups to TMZ.com for alerting the world to the existence of the most perfect gift anyone could ever give me:
“Ever pictured the gals from the “Golden Girls” dressed up in leather and whips — or just plain naked? Of course you have. Live the fantasy — with the new ‘Golden Gals Gone Wild’ art show, set to open in Los Angeles on August 11. After purchasing a Chris Zimmerman oil painting of Bea Arthur in full frontal view, Lenora Claire felt inspired to create a show where artists submitted their naughtiest versions of the ‘Girls.’ This is the most age-inappropriately sexy show since Dennis Franz bared it all on ‘NYPD Blue.’”

O.M.G….OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!