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Billy Blanks Busts A Move, originally uploaded by emilyrems.

I’m totally overstimulated by the fact that my gym, which I lovingly refer to as “ShittyFitness,” finally got off their toned collective ass and started offering exercise classes. Last week I crunched myself into painful oblivion in Mat Pilates, and yesterday I almost fainted during kickboxing because the room wasn’t air conditined and all that bobbing and weaving and jabbing caused every ounce of fluid in my body to violently leap from all my pores onto the floor (ever watched your fingers sweat?). Drama aside, the class was badass. All the ladies in the room, including our totally ripped instructor Stephanie, showed up wearing black, so when we got into the routine, we looked like a coordinated gang of chubby grrrl ninjas out for street justice. It was hilarious so I had to disguise my laughs as heavy breathing and coughs. The best part by far was when Stephanie got frighteningly pumped duing her flow of motivational chatter and started shouting “Yeah Muthafuckas!” I was all like, “Hell to the Yeah.”

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