Unwell
Stop the Torture, originally uploaded by emilyrems.Sometimes it seems like LCF has a boundless reserve of energy. Brilliantly creative and endlessly resourceful, in my mind he is always in motion, leaving piles of beautifully realized debris in his wake. So I guess it’s only natural that I sometimes forget that he also has a chronic medical condition capable of striking him down without warning and leaving him painfully incapacitated for days at a time. The fact that this is one of those sick times seems especially cruel to me since this is our fave time of the year to do rad spooky shit together. His pain makes me feel furious, impotent, and afraid. He needs me, yet there’s nothing I can do. Trying to comfort the inconsolable is a viscious trap, but I love him, so what other choice do I have? Watching him suffer is so hard for me, I sometimes wonder if I would trade places with him if I could, just to get away from this feeling of being a helpless observer. But honestly I don’t think I’m strong enough to get through half of what he navigates through every day when he feels bad. I just know I would do anything to make him better.