emilyrems.com

bUSted, originally uploaded by emilyrems.

A few weeks ago while discussing out guiltiest pleasures and secret indulgences, I let it slip to LCF that I was secretly obsessed with celeb gossip rags. I feel bad supporting such an invasive and needlessly cruel industry, and my interest in ‘bloids is even more ludicrous considering I don’t have TV, so I don’t know who ANY of the peeps in it are unless they were famous in the ’80s. (Case in pont - when I saw the above cover, I swooned and thought “Gosh - Patrick Dempsey sure was dreamy in “Can’t Buy Me Love!”) But the truth is, I don’t need to know who they are. I’ll listen to gossip about anyone, anytime, anywhere. I don’t care if you’re a stranger talking on a cell phone behind me on the bus, or someone who hastily scrawls trash talk on bathroom walls - I am your intended audience. Enquiring Minds Want To Know. I have always been like this - a quiet, sneaky listener. A hoarder of information. A thrilled voyeur of the human experience. So when I found out today that LCF had secretly bought me my very own home-delivery subscription to US Weekly, I almost wet myself. It was a very sweet gesture, and I suspect he did it because he likes the idea of appealing to my baser impulses. I just hope that having all of this magnificent bathroom reading material doesn’t totally warp my brain. If I start repeating the things I read in US in public as if they are actually factual, somebody please slap the shit out of me.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 27th, 2006 at 12:45 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.