emilyrems.com

bill-bored, originally uploaded by emilyrems.

NYC is the viral marketing capital of the world. Advertisers are always plastering perfectly good blank walls with obtuse gossip fodder that at a later date will be revealed as another lame gimmick to “create buzz” for another lame thing I can add to the pile of media I don’t give a crap about. In case you can’t read it clearly in my picture, this billboard at the corner of Houston and Ludlow reads:

Hi Steven,
Do I have your attention now?
I know all about her, you dirty, sneaky, immoral, unfaithful, poorly-endowed slimeball. Everything’s caught on tape.

Your (soon-to-be-ex) wife,
Emily

P.S. I paid for this billboard from OUR joint bank account.

What those sneaky lil’ marketers, in this case Court TV (as revealed handily by the NY Times), want to happen of course, is for me to read this during my walk to Jenni’s house and think, “Ooh snap! Did you see that??? No she di-ent!!!!!” And then get all stereotypically gleeful in a knee-jerk, pre-packaged feminist kind of way, and then tell all my friends about it so we can have some kind of rousing session of shrieking “You go girl!!!!” in each other’s faces complete with loads of head bobbing and eye rolling. Thus, creating the much coveted “buzz” for their redic show which will be revealed as the true source of the sign in a few weeks.

Well guess what Court TV? That didn’t happen. I saw the billboard, I thought “That looks fake,” and moved on, later learning all about the fake blog y’all created for the scorned miss “Emily” and all of the “there’s no such thing as bad publicity” publicity that attended the fact that your hoax was discovered immediately after the ads went up. I learned all about it and I yawned. And then I scratched my ass. And then I yawned while scratching my ass.

Hi Court TV,
Do I have your attention now?
I know all about you, you dirty, sneaky, boring, uninteresting, poorly-executed slimeball network. Everything was exposed by the New York Times.

Your indignant neighbor,
Emily

P.S. I didn’t have to pay for this. Too bad you spent so much on your shitty ad campaign.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 25th, 2006 at 3:17 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.