Vandalism Rules
I love vandalism that rearranges an existing image to make it totally immature and snotty. My fave right now has got to be the crosswalk signals that someone has tricked out with electrical tape so the red DO NOT WALK hand is either giving the finger or throwing the goat heavy metal style. I also really like the Silent Hill movie posters of the girl with no mouth, because everywhere you go, there is a version that someone has added a weird, goofy, or pornographic mouth to. I see AM New York boxes like this one every once in a while and they always make me giggle, because it’s so grade-school-awesome to make it say “I Pee Daily.” I snapped this one while walking east on Houston to catch Brandy and her comedy partner Sara doing some hilarious sketch comedy stylings at the Parkside Lounge. Their sketch involved a multi-media slide show montage of pix of them at their pubescent best interspersed with pin up pix of their ’80s heartthrobs like Corey Haim, Jason Bateman and the entire cast of the Lost Boys, which they attempted to hump even though it put the slide show screen in extreme danger. After that whirlwind, I cabbed it over to watch Anya tear the roof off the legendary Bitter End with her band, then speed-walked swiftly and sweatily over to the Bourgeois Pig to snag a table for Alison’s birthday fondue fiesta. On my way to the pig, a cute lil’ 19-ish looking boy maneuvering a full drum set towards Astor place with his guitar toting friend complemented me on my glasses, then walked a few steps, stopped, turned, and passionately cried out, “You’re So Beautiful!” I thanked him, and blushed all kinds of colors. I was still blushing a few blocks later when I ran into the Babysitter and her friend Eva on 1st Ave. We discussed whether Eva could pass for Gloria Steinem if she sported big sunglasses, then I hoofed it to the pig where I finally collapsed into a vintage chair and let the Nina Simone, Tom Waits, and Johnny Cash tunes wash over me. Once Alison, her BFF, and LCF got there, I dove headlong into the “Ch” diet (all the most delicious foods start with the letters CH) and inhaled cherry coffee, cheese, and chocolate like it was my job. Yum Yummy Yumstein! Spring Has Sprung!